I'm sensitive, but not too sensitive as to drive away men. This face says it all.

Two questions:

Karla: I think Jonah Hill definitely falls into this category.  I think he’s capable of more but it would be really hard for him to make the crossover into a more dramatic role.  Maybe he’s not even interested in something more serious.  He’s younger and probably having a lot of fun working on his comedies and voice overs.  I sort of have Jason Schwartzman-sized hopes for him and I wouldn’t want to see him get pigeon-holed into being the funny, humorously awkward kid in every film he does.

Jim: Don’t all fat actors get typecast as the buddy in the buddy comedy, no matter how hard they try?

Also, in order to be typecasted, you have to demonstrate that you have some sort of range that is not being exploited by the industry for whatever reason (probably money…).  Not hating on Jonah Hill, but he hasn’t made Wet Hot American Summer yet. (and as an aside, I think there are actually very few comedians who AREN’T typecasted)

Wath this movie now!

If I had to go with someone I think I’d take on one of Seth’s man-crushes, Joseph Gordon Levitt.  He just stepped out of his typical sensitive dude in off beat indie comedy and seemed to be stuck somewhere between Zach Braff and Jon Krasinsky on the charming but ultimately forgettable scale.  He was great in Inception, and if he really is going to play the Riddler in the next Batman, then my argument is pretty much moot, but I think he’s on the precipice of either sliding back into “make the chicks swoon and not much else mode” or over-capitalizing on Inception‘s success and taking on a series of inferior sidekick roles morphing into poor man’s Edward Norton…

Caroline: “Poor man’s Edward Norton”…love it.

Lets apply that to some ladies. Leslie Man is the poor woman’s Joan Cusack…albeit a hotter version.

As for the A-listers, Cate Blanchett needs to grab a crack whore roll fast because while admittedly an amazing actress, she always carries with her the same air of dignified grace. It is as if her characters are always inner queens…even when shes not Elizabeth. I just want to see if she can lose the inherent cultivation and get a little crude.

Patrick: Michael Cera seems to play the same awkward-nerdy leading man over and over again.  He definitely looks the part but I would love to see him in something that’s not funny.

Mumblecore Hero

Seth: I have to pick at Jim’s “man-crush” statement. I wouldn’t consider him a man-crush personally, it’s just weird to have a famous doppelganger. And I’d gather that his roles have been pretty varied throughout his career actually. In fact, a quick glance at this credits shows only ONE (MAYBE two if you count 10 Things, but they were made several years apart) “make the chicks swoon and not much else mode”. He’s been a High school noir detective (Brick), a broken-down bank robber-turned-hero (The Lookout, excellent if you haven’t seen it), an archvillian (GI Joe), a misanthrope (Hesher), an Iraq war veteran (Stop-Loss), and the future holds more variety with nothing resembling one of these roles. Just scan his IMDB page, he’s had a pretty varied career. Which is one of the reasons I don’t mind sharing a face with him.

So while I may have done nothing to disprove Jim’s claim of a man-crush (for me that’s Matt Damon or the aforementioned Ed Norton) I think I’ve safely defended my Doppelganger.

Patrick: Jim was on the money with the fat actor’s always being the buddy, never getting the girl, and being the nice guy etc… Although I think a recent trend, in most of the movies you’ve just named, busts the fat guy type cast. The chubby guy actually gets the girl in King of Queens, Forty Year Old Virgin, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall as well.

Comedic actors not branching out doesn’t seem like type casting because the actors named seemingly have a choice of movie projects and choose to swing in their wheel house and make butt loads of cash, Hollywood if nothing else is formulaic.  If these guys are victims of anything it’s that. They might not get too many acting roles outside of comedy because of the way they look or their acting history. For example Jason Statham won’t be playing any geeky high school guys any time soon, but actors like Rudd, Hill and others are big enough to have a choice.  Actor’s ability to choose probably has a place in the definition as well.

Type cast as double edge sword hypothetical role play: Me -Movie producer Sandra Bullock- as Danny Trejo

Movie Producer: Hey Danny Trejo you’d be perfect for this new role as Mexican inmate # 5 in the remake of The Great Escape.

Danny Trejo: Well I guess if I want to eat and keep doing what I love I have to play this role again, but next time I swear I’m holding out for the role of Wall Street exec!

Sorry Dan-o that role’s not coming around the bend anytime soon.  No tatted Latinos on the Forbes list means no tatted Gordon Geko’s, (although he could actually play the Mexican inmate in the Wall Street sequel and I can’t even talk about lebuff right now an actor who I hate but consistently like his movies.)

So my answer is Danny Trejo eternally the Mexican former/future/current inmate when I feel he has the potential for more but not the choice.

It's almost unsettling to see him smile.

Sherman: Not a comedic typecast, but it would be nice to see Morgan Freeman play a perverted serial killer or anything other than “black mentor” (today’s version of “magical negro”, which Freeman also used to play all the time).  And as a sub-typecast as “black mentor” he’s also typecast as “God”.  Which is a lot cooler.

Kevin: My answer is Paul Rudd’s companion in Role Models-Sean William Scott

The StifMeister Forever

Think about it, name a movie when he wasn’t an updated version of Stifler. Sure, American Pie was the teen movie of our generation and that may have cemented him. But to his credit, he fucking nails the duchey-yet funny dude role better than anyone. I stand by that he’s a funny actor, who can mix in classic physical comedy, stupid frat guy jokes, but still work in some heart. I enjoyed him in American Pies (really the only reedeming part of the sequels), Road Trip, The Rundown (yeah, I said it). Sure he has some crappy movies, i.e. Dukes of Hazzard, but it’s the last example of Role Models that made me think there was more to this SWS character. By all accounts he plays an updated, more adult version of Stifler in that film, but he showed some restraint and somehow makes that character likeable against all odds, and really seemed to add some subtly to the role. Also, showed he could really bring in the emotional life lesson part of the storyline. Maybe he’s typecast thats all he can do, but I really think he can do a lot more as an actor and comedic role outside of douchy athlete in high school. I wan to see him get a shot at something different, at least to see how it goes. More SWS in my life I say!

What say you Ramblers? Are there other actors who you care for who are in danger of being typecast or are !GASP! already?  I think this is really a function of kinda stock characters being tweaked in a small way and people being set-up to take certain roles. Somebody write some new characters!

And finally, I think the only way to solve this is to each nominate ONE opening line with a short defense. Then I will post them to PR and we’ll let the heathens decide. It’s only fair. You know what they say “Heathens Know Best!”

Caroline: Don’t blame me for this…I didn’t know I could throw down the gauntlet with a gmail status.

While my “best ever” comes from my tendency to hyperbolize in the moment…I’m gonna stick up for my choice. This is because Beck rocks and his lyrics in general have that wonderful combination of smart yet sad humor. “In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey” sets up the song brilliantly by throwing the theme bluntly on the table. For all the emo, poetic mumbo-jumbo songs can do, I really dig songs with lyrics that are smart and vicious.

However, I am biased towards any chimpanzee reference. That has tainted my choice. A couple of you on this panel know that one of the easiest ways to rile me up is to call a chimpanzee a monkey. The fact that Beck understands the distinction between primates makes the nerdy fan girl in me swoon.

Sherman: Yeah, Caroline, we know you love when Mark Salling sings the Beck line.

Mine poses something of an existential challenge to the concept of “pop-culture”, so I’ve got a back-up in case it’s disqualified.  I go back to pop-culture of yester-century and nominate “Batti, batti o bel Masetto” from Mozart’s Don Giovanni.  Translated, it means “Beat me, beat me, oh dear Masetto!” (followed by, “beat your little lamb, Zerlina”) and sung by Zerlina, a commoner who has been seduced on her wedding night by the titular Don Juan (Juan=John=Giovanni).  Masetto is her dumb straight man of a husband who by dumb luck manages to appear just before Don Giovanni seals the deal and is angry and heart-broken.

So how does Zerlina respond?  With a kinky, S&M themed aria, of course!  “I’ll stand here as meek as a lamb and bear the blows you lay on me,” she goes on to sing, but in that very first, very catchy “Batti, batti o bel Masetto!” Zerlina has already won her victory and made the “good” girl of the opera as intriguing as the “bad” guy.

Brad:Well no matter what follows that will sound dumb. So I may as well try.

As in most music related questions I can really only summon that which I’m diggin’ at the moment. After checking my current Grooveshark playlist I have to say that Fever Ray’s “When I Grow Up” has a KILLER opening line (as well as many other subsequent lyrics).

“When I grow up, I want to be a forester and run through the moss in high heels”

WHAT?!?!? Just an extremely conflicting image but still one that summons a singular scence: giant lumbering trunks and a dainty little forest nymph just lilting over and through the dewey underbrush. In my mind she’s wearing a fire man’s outfit (huh?) as well. I figure, if she can sing a line like that then I can add whatever imagery I want to it. And why does she have to wait until she’s grown up to do it?

Certainly not the best, but just an example of what it takes to really make me listen to lyrics (which I sometimes overlook/neglect in favor of ROCKedness).

Chase: My goal was to identify songs that had both a badass first line and a first line that summed up the entirety of the entire song, my choice….
“Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street…”   from Joe Jackson’s “Is she really going out with him?”

This song is a classic and has been covered by critically acclaimed groups like Sugar Ray… come on i know you guys all owned the Floored CD.  But really what draws me to this line is that it sums up the whole point of the song and the inner monologue of all of us Pop Culture dorks had/have about hot girls. Bonus points for the ape reference.

ALSO, this comes up when you Google Image it- Sherman

Caroline: It is settled. Primate references for the win.

For the record Mark Sallings could sing the phonebook to me and I wouldn’t really be listening with my ears. (Random Caroline tangent– I don’t think singers should be all that attractive, it takes away from their music. They are better odd looking. In fact, I cant really think of a conventionally hot singer I adore. Not a challenge.)

Patrick: Beastie Boys – “Sabotage”

“I can’t stand it. I know you planned it!”

The lyric should be written ”AAAAAAAAAHHHHIII can’t stand it …”  With the accompanying guitar, drums, and bass this opening lyric has more energy than the sun.  This lyric sets up the song well in that is about angry possibly justified paranoia .  I’m not sure who’s sabotaging the beasties. It could the Man, their parents keeping them from partying, or the Reds.  Whoever it is I wouldn’t want to be them. Immediately recognizable, incredibly energetic, encompasses the entire song.

Karla: The song that I first thought of comes from a place I never would have expected it to.  It’s “The Good Kind” by The Wreckers.

Do you want to run away together? I would say it was your best line ever. Too bad I fell for it.

I hope that you all will let me slide because it’s maybe the first two or three lines to the song. It’s not particularly cool, or deep, or esoteric. It does rhyme… sort of.  But it’s something that resonates.  It immediately drew me in.  I never got into Michelle Branch or even this duo, but this line alone made me sit up and take notice.  Maybe it’s just because I’m a girl, but I instantly felt and understood it.  Musically, I don’t think it’s a great song. I don’t really even like it all that much.  I think you could pretty much delete the rest of the song because the opening line backed by simple acoustic strumming is better than the over-engineered body.  But that opening line always gets me. 

Kevin: Man Seth, This post just killed a day and a half at work doing an archeological dig through my iTunes, which lead to me saying “Holy s***, I love that song!” alot to things I had forgot about/haven’t had in rotation much lately. This has been tough-I feel like most my favorite songs have great lyrics in the chorus/hooks/2nd verse etc…it’s harder to find one that really hits it out of the gate. I also found that its hard to seperate great opening lyrics (i.e. clever such as the Beck suggestion) vs. recognizable lyrics. I was searching for clever lyrics or those that set the tone of the song to come perfectly. I think I found both with the opening lyric to “Guarantees” by Atmosphere on the last album, When life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold. This is a great bare-bones song with Slug rapping/singing over a blues guitar about his father’s difficult life working dead-end jobs, struggling with his income, toublesome son (the author/narrator), ex-wife, and overall the commercialism of the USA. The songs starts:

“Man, these wharehouse wages killed the ends’ introduction…”.

I think that it’s just an increadibly clever way to use a familiar phrase and turn it just slightly to fit the song, it’s also increadibly somber-which carries through the song perfectly. I absolutely love Atmosphere and especially this album, and this song is one of his best. I think he is by far one of the most poetic artists let alone rappers currently out there. I think this song and first line illustrates it perfectly. If you don’t have any experience with his music, or this album-get on it. You are guaranteed to find a track you love (no pun inteded). Check the video-my personal favorite line is actually later in the song (“Kill me in my 30′s in the name of progress…”).

Jim: This took me about a day and a half to come up with.  I argued with myself over a number of newish songs about this, but finally settled on a classic.

“We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout” from the song “Jackson” by Johnny Cash.  The song is a duet with June about a marriage fizzling out and the partners separately skipping town for Jackson, where they expect to raise hell.  There is no doubt this is the best Johnny/June song, especially since they recorded it later in their marriage during a kinda rocky time.  Also, if Wikipedia is to be believed, Cash originally had this line at the end of the song.  His songwriter, Jerry Leiber, upon hearing an early cut of the song said “these verses suck, put that last one at the beginning”.  Cash protested saying he couldn’t start a song with the climax, to which Leiber replies “Oh, yes you can,” rest is history, yadda yadda.

But really, they don’t write these things like they used to.  To me, this line is nothing short of literary.  By itself, it is the quintessential mid-20th Century American story (1968 — lots of WWII marriages had imploded, and now their kid’s marriages were doing the same).  The sort of sarcastic neo-romanticism of Johnny’s baritone is balanced perfectly in this line by June’s brassy overtone.  It really is the climax of the song, but it also sets the table for a song that is both an insightful comment on a marriage and a raucous good time.

Seth: Well, I’m going to try to defib this discussion since I think it’s worthy of more responses. And here’s my choice. I go with the antithesis of Caroline’s original offering, except it still fits the “clever and vicious” claim. From Brand New’s “Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don’t”:

“I am heaven sent, don’t you dare forget”

I think Jesse Lacey’s delivery really makes this lyric stand out for me. It’s quiet and foreboding and it offers the kind of confidence and assurance that smacks Beck’s lyrics in the face. The song meanders between his feelings of ROCK Superiority, but really it’s a mock to all those who think they’re the bee’s knees because they sell out arenas. Taken on its own, it’s a great line about a relationship between a musician and his audience, but taken with the rest of the song it’s the clearest line of mockery in what is an honest piece of music.  Also I just like it. And the title of the song is a line from Home Alone 2. Which is awesome. If you haven’t listened to all of this album, you missed out. Emo or not, it’s one of the best from the early aughts.

Creepy Astronaut!!! Still should listen to this

Chase: Throwback to Sophomore year….
“When it’s time to party we will party hard”- Andrew W.K.

Josh: I could never understand what Andrew W.K.’s message was in that song. But then again, how many people can really understand the nuances of his music?

Not only does this euro-pop group remind us of the soul’s innate need to party, but also that “hey now, hey now, hear what I say now, happiness is just around the corner”. It really drives home the importance of hope in the future and……… and…….. that the Vengabus is coming?

Brad: I would also like to point people towards another of WK’s finest moments, “It’s Time to Party”:

“It’s time to party, Let’s party
Hang out with yourself and have a crazy party
Hey you, let’s party
Have a killer party and Party!

It gets better from there, but I think those speak for themselves.”

Poet Laureate

Let me present one other addition to my favorite opening line that I just remembered today, from Failure’s “The Nurse Who Loved Me”:

:Say hello, to the rug’s topography”

The song’s about a drug addict falling in love with she who gives him his fix, but that line just really captures those times when (due to a variety of reasons) you may be face down on the floor and just really exploring the various tracts of rug/floor beneath you. We’ve all been there.

Seth: Brad loves heroin.

Summer: For some reason, the first thing that comes to mind is:

“She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean, she was the best damn woman I had ever seen” -You Shook Me All Night Long, AC/DC

Not sure its my favorite or the best, but it stuck with me!

Stevo: Although I think Seth’s choice may be the best so far, mostly because I think it’s probably my favorite Brand New song. These may not be the best, but I like them. I have 2 other choices essentially saying the same thing. They both stress being true to yourself, in varied ways. One comes from 311 and the other from Brand New.It’s more like two lines but talking about staying true to yourself, although in a very strong statement:

“You know I’ll not renounce my views and do what others do. I’d rather tweak the hemlock than be like you.” -Still Dreaming, 311

“Who do you carry the torch for young man? Do you believe in anything?” -Archers, Brand New

Greg: I’m a little ashamed of my friends that this did not come up:

“Tonight, I’m gonna have myself a real good time, I feel ali-i-i-ive.” Queen, Don’t Stop Me Now

Freddy Mercury and Friend having a good time

Personal Fave:

“Everybody’s talkin bout the stormy weather and what’s a man to do but work out whether its true?” Sonic Youth, Teenage Riot (this is on the longer side but I feel it still applies because there’s no pause in between clauses)

Well if there’s one thing that I’m certain of, it’s that that cat is very please to be with Freddy (R.I.P). But how are the lyric selections? I want everyone who reads this to vote for their favorite opening line and the winner gets a prize to be named a later date (it will almost certainly be a high 5!) Ok I need to run along and find someone who loves me as much as that cat loves Freddy. Also, thanks Caroline for unwittingly spurring  a topic that lasted almost two weeks!

Jim: “Forced to Love”  - Broken Social Scene, lots of guitars, catchy as all hell and even finds the appropriate use of the flute in a rave up.

“Drunk Girls” – LCD Soundsystem, I’m all kinds of excited to see these guys at Pitchfork in July.  Also, this has got one of the best Spike Jonze vids in a while:

“Spill the Wine” Eric Burdon and War – Mexican grass, sunshine caressing your face, hollywood movie dreams, what else do you want?  The Hall of the Mountain King???

“Get it On (Bang a Gong), T-Rex – get it on, bang a gong, get it on, get it on, bang a gong, get it on HEY NOW!

Brad: “Waltz” by Fiona Apple is a great lazy summer song. As far as new songs go, I’ma go with “Nothing Like You” by Frightened Rabbit. Just too fun and to the point to leave off this list.

Patrick: “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus — It’s not lyrical poetry or musical genius but it definitely gets people moving and singing along, which is what a summer song should do.

“Folding Chair” by Regina Spektor — This IS lyrical poetry and some musical genius and it’s beach-themed (sure it’s a metaphor, but so what).  It’s upbeat without being frantic.

“Swimming Pools” by Thao and the Get Down Stay Down — This evokes images of youthful summers spent getting pruny in the pool.

“Hot in Herre” by Jenny Owen Youngs — Hands down the best cover of a Nelly Song ever made.

Surfer Blood-”Fast Jabroni”. Jabroni is the best word ever, and a fast one is always better than a slow. I got into this album through Seth, and even though it’s  gotten a Brooklyn-hipster following (and I have severe issues with hipsters), I gotta love old school surf guitar in modern day. and they’re Floridian.

This guy likes it too!

Karla: My two new ones are Sally Seltman’s infectious and sweet song “Harmony to my Heartbeat”.  I imagine that I will hear this song play in my head when I think about the guy I marry.   It’s light and fun, just like summer should be.  But it doesn’t lack depth.  Which music (and marriage) should not.And also Josh Rouse’s “I Will Live on Islands” which is so so danceable and which I had the pleasure of hearing live not too long ago.  It makes you want to move to the Costa Blanca and just figure it out when you get there.

Toto’s “Africa” is a pick because it totally rocks and I will play it more than once on my 15 hr flight to the eponymous continent on Memorial Day Weekend.

Summer: This was made for me.

Windows Down Song: “Summer Girl”- Jessica Andrews — Bringing in the girly country music that my brother will tease me for. But nothing makes me want to roll down my windows and belt it out with my girlfriends like this song. It’s just a happy, upbeat song about enjoying the summer with your girlfriends.

These guys get it. PUPS!

It’s 9pm, 90 Degrees, and Still Light Outside Song: “Snails”- The Format — You know that perfect time of night only available in the summertime. It’s late, but the sun is down so it’s warm but not uncomfortable, and it is still light out. Fireflies are out, you’re sitting on the porch with your best friends just hanging out. That moment is encapsulated in this song.

Chilling on the Beach Song: “Flake”- Jack Johnson — Jack will always be the perfect beach music to me. So chill and relaxing.

Amped that the Weather is Warm Song: “Free Energy”- Free Energy — The power poppiness of the band just screams summertime to me. In fact, every time I listen to it I just think about how much better it will sound blasting from my speakers by the pool in July.

Also, for the record, my top 4 SUMMER songs:
4) Summer Girls, LFO
3) Summer Skin, Death Cab for Cutie
2) Summer Breeze, Seals & Croft
1) Summer Girl, Jessica Andrews

And for your listening pleasure.

Steve: Jack Johnson is phenomenal and I thought of him almost first given the surfer vibe and all. I can think of 3 songs off the top of my head:

“Summertime” – Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff: We all remember back to the 90′s when Zack, Kelly, AC, Lisa, Jessie, and Screech took that trip to Hawaii to save the Hideaway. Summertime brings me to that place, thinking of the ocean, palm trees, and beaches. Somehow, at the same time, because it references so many Philly locales, it takes me to the backyard BBQ’s, cycling down Kelly Drive, and all around awesome summer nights on the town in Philly. Great summer tune for me.

“Stay (Wasting Time)” – Dave Matthews Band: Just describes a hot summer day with your favorite girl wasting time together. Sounds like a solid summer afternoon.

“What I Got” – Sublime: I think it’s just the sound of this tune. Something about it makes me think summer. The whole thing makes me think BBQ on the beach with your best friends. I know that’s not at all what the lyrics say, but the vibe of the guitar and all just brings me to that place.

“Cousins” – Vampire Weekend: Not sure why but I just think of a summertime BBQ out on the back porch.  Such an upbeat tune and fun at the same time.

Andy: Totally agree with Jack Johnson, couple that come to mind for no particular reason are: PM Dawn – “Set a Drift on Memory Bliss” and Isley Brothers – “Summer Breeze”

Karla: I’d like to add one more to my list.  And it’s not cheating because I only had three:  “In The Summertime” by Mungo Jerry.

This guys SCREAMS "Summer"

Sherman: “Treme Song” – John Boutte: The theme to HBO’s spectacular Treme – a must for anyone with the slightest fondness for jazz or music as art – is new to me, but already feels like the theme of summer.  In the spirit of just getting down and having a good time with friends, it hits the nail on the head.

“Doin’ Time” – Sublime: Since Kevin Thompson already snagged “What I Got” I’m going with another Sublime (“The official band of summer”) song, the group’s dub of the Ella-sung, Duke-penned masterpiece “Summertime (And The Living’s Easy)”.  It’s got all the smooth lethargy of the original, plus Sublime’s modifications that add a modern perspective. Apparently that means drowning your girlfriend, but that gangsta-shit always sounds so chill from Sublime (see: Santeria)

“Stars and Stripes Forever” – John Phillips Sousa: Maybe it’s a product of growing up close to the District, but it’s hard to imagine a hot, sticky summer day without an armed forces band playing the Sousa classics on the Mall.

“Window Seat” – Erykah Badu: If Sousa is summer’s heat and humidity, Erykah Badu is the cement slab in your unfinished basement that you lay down on spread eagle to keep cool.  Seriously, this song deserves to be known for its own merits, not its sensationalist video.  It’s so smooth.  Also, what’s summer without the police needlessly hassling black people?

Nathan: Wilco – “Heavy Metal Drummer”- I have a friend who once claimed that he would only likes to listen to Wilco in the summer. I’m not sure he still adheres to this belief, and I hope he doesn’t because I think it’s silly. However, I agree with him that they’re a great summer band. “I miss the innocence I’ve know/ Playing Kiss covers beautiful and stoned” is also a great summer lyric.Iggy and the Stooges- “Search and Destroy”- “I’m a street walkin’ cheetah with a heart full of napalm” is one of my favorite opening lines for a song. This song is fast and great for those summer car chases.

Vampire Weekend – “A-Punk”- Their entire first album is great for Summer, but, as Musso would attest to, it’s pretty  hard not to feel upbeat when this song is playing.

Local Natives – “Airplanes”- I caught this band listening to internet radio and they slowly grew on me. Technically a 2010 pick because their album didn’t release in the US until February 2010 although it had been out in the UK since 2009. Their sound has been compared to Fleet Foxes and Arcade fire. This song fits the mood of summer very well.

Seth: “Thank God I’m A Country Boy” by John Denver- Not much sounds better than Denver crowing about how good he’s got it down on the farm when the temperatures rise. It’s a song most people know and that helps in BBQ settings. I grew up listening to Mr. Denver and there’s something that calls me back about this jam, I can’t help but think about running around without shoes on (which I love), wearing overalls (which I don’t), and sitting on a porch with an ice cold drink (which I do).

Summer Fashion DON'T

“Constructive Summer” by The Hold Steady- I can’t help but think of my friends when I hear this song. And the fact that I don’t drink “double whiskey, coke, no ice” doesn’t stop me from wanting one every time Craig Finn says it. And despite the fact that I’ve never climbed up the water tower and drinked and talked doesn’t mean I couldn’t. I love the nostalgia in this song, even if its his; the message still applies, “we’re gonna build something this summer.”

Seth:

Faith Reborn

With just a flick of the switch, Locke literally and figuratively sees the light. This is an undeniably spine-tingling moment in LOST lore. What we thought was changed in that exact moment just through that sliver of light. Incredible.

What a lovely sandal!

“I don’t know what is more disquieting; the fact that the rest of the statue is missing, or that it has four toes.” - Sayid
That about covers it. I was blown away by the statue when it first appeared and it remained my #1 mystery up until it was finally solved. Just all kinds of WTF.

Favorite Episode: It’s still “The Constant.” Never has such a trippy, time-bending, mind-bending piece of science fiction held such emotional weight and pure romantic bliss as this episode. Even the title of the episode is brilliant and works for both the science and the romantic side.  At times, Sun and Jin have played the role of the emotional love story of LOST but I don’t think they’ve ever really matched the almost-over-the-top way that Penny and Des portray their love story. This is definitely a singular achievement in 42 minutes. And also I know I just stole a LOT of people’s answers, but that’s what you get for being the chief.

Patrick: Mine were:

“Through the Looking Glass:” Charlie’s revelation that the boat sent to the island was not Penny’s; that entire episode was a treatise on whether fate or free will reigns supreme and it really did a great job of not completely answering the question.  It is still hands-down my favorite season finale of the series.

Never See Sharpies the same way again.

“The Other Woman:” Juliet, Charlotte and Daniel fight in the Tempest station; this episode was a pinnacle moment for Juliet and getting to see Ben’s horrifying effect on her life and the other side of the beginning of the story was phenomenal.

With the Gun, For the Win

Amal: My favorite episode is also “The Constant.”  Hm.

I also love the opening of ”Tale of Two Cities.”  Seeing the Dharma life and placing time/space by seeing 815 plane split overhead was completely enlightening.  I might’ve punched the sky in my living room on that one.  I also love that Juliet and Ben have book club beef.  Let’s not forget, too, that Juliet is crying to Petula Clark’s “Downtown,” and the whole moment is perfect.

Absolute favorite  moment on the show:  when Hurley and Charlie jumpstart the Dharma van and Three Dog Night’s “Shambala” is playing on the tape.  It ranks pretty high on the list for amazing use of a pop song in a television series.

Also love:  When Sayid snaps the chicken head.  It’s just so f’ing awesome, and probably how manhood should be defined for all.

Seth: Setting the manhood bar with the Republican Guard’s certifiable badass seems, I don’t know, a little unfair.

Josh: Patrick made a good call about “Through the Looking Glass”, but it’s one of my favorites b/c it was the first time they used aflash forward. I definitely didn’t see that coming. This finale gave us a look into how the following seasons would go (ie people get off the island, not all is well once they leave, they have to go back.)

One of my favorite, but less talked about episodes is “I Do”. This episode is in Season 3 while Jack, Kate, and Sawyer are being held by the Others on Hydra Island. “I Do” is the episode where Kate tries to save Sawyer from being killed by adisgruntled Other and ends up climbing in his cage for a little rumble in the jungle if you know what I mean. This is one of my favorite scenes:

Kevin: I must say that I agree with many folks that “Through the Looking Glass”  is the best. While Charlie drowning with the ”Not Penny’s Boat” note is by far the most emotional moment for me in the show, and it seems everyone else’s-this episode really made me think that these writers were brilliant. The whole episode you get what you think are flashbacks to Jack, addicted to codeine and drinking, trying to commit suicide and upset at a coffin you don’t see the contents of-all capped off with a late night meeting with Kate. In that moment when she get’s out of the car and you realize your seeing the future and that they do one day get off and that the next season will tell that story pretty much made my brain explode. no actually it did, I’ve never been the same.

Brad: I think the best moments (and the only ones that have kept me with this show at this point) on the show have all been Locke related. Realizing it was his wheel chair after the crash, seeing him played by his dad, left by Katey Seagal, pushed out the window, left behind on the walkabout, hit by Desmond, strangled by Ben, etc.. He’s really been the only character that I’ve felt empathetic towards–he always gets so close to having his shit together but fate/Lost writers refuse to leave him be! And what does he get for his overly trusting naivete? He becomes the embodiment of EVIL!?!? How cruel, Lost. How deliciously cruel.

Steve: I love all of the choices so far, but I’m going to go way back to season 1 with “The Moth”. Just a great Charlie episode with fighting theheroine addiction, the cave in at the caves, and rescuing Jack. Overall transformation moment for Charlie.
Summer: Wow Josh, you and I are Lost-mates. Those are my two favorite moments and my favorite character as well! “Through the Looking Glass” is hands down the BEST episode of Lost, if not of television.

“Not Penny’s Boat” is my favorite scene because of the emotion. Just when you think Charlie has reversed fate and will make it, he dies. In the process, he was sacrificing this life to save his friends. And at the same time, you are left with this huge question mark ofwho’s boat did these people come on and why are they here. I’m also a fan of the scene where Hurley drives the van onto the beach. Hurley saves the day and Sayid kills someone with his legs. That one got my jumping up in down in my seat.

The cage sex scene in “I Do” carries a lot of steam obviously but also has heart. Kate has the opportunity to run (let’s face it, she could find a way to get to the other island), which she has spent her life doing yet stays for Sawyer (and/or Jack?). The desperation in this scene is just spot-on.

I know I am going over the limit, but I have to include the CPR scene in “All the Best Cowboys have Daddy Issues.” It shows a positive side of Jack’s refusal to let go and frustration with himself. And Charlie comes back to life so it’s a happy ending. It’s just such powerful stuff. You think Charlie’s gone, you feel with Jack and his anger, and then you get to be happy when Charlie comes back. So many emotions in just one scene.

Narrowing down just a few was hard. There’s so many moments that represent different parts of what I love about Lost. The high-action kick-ass parts, the emotional heart-wrenching parts, the relationship lovey-dovey parts, the parts that renewed my faith in the show, the parts that worked together to get me hooked in the beginning, the parts that uncovered vital information, and the parts that have all of that in just one scene.

I know I only speak for myself, but I feel I speak for many of those who contributed here saying that we are going to be well sad when LOST closes its final chapter, whatever the end may bring. Frankly, I’ve given up any thought that they would solve EVERY MYSTERY on the show. I mean COME ON.  Six seasons of answering questions only to find more buried directly beneath, you can’t expect them to answer them all. I’ve been happy enough to have some of the great mysteries of my own solved and I’m happy for that.

A friend of mine mentioned that he was afraid that all of this could be one big red herring-fest. Which at first really put me in a sour mood, but since that time, I’ve begun to wonder if it matters at all. What possible ending to LOST would you be happy with at this point? I have begun to look at it this way, I’ve watched a show which I have voluntarily invested a lot of time in. More than many of its other fans in some regards (summer reading, alternate reality games, countless hours spent with my fellow LOST detective sister on forums and Wikipedia). But I’m happy I’ve been able to witness something like this and the story that is being told isn’t my story to finish. It’s the LOST team’s. I’m just happy to have been along for the ride. I don’t think LOST is the best TV show of all time, but I do believe it to be a singular television achievement. A show which captivates, entertains, and educates like few ever have of ever will is not to be scoffed at as simply a red herring fest. In fact maybe the meaning of LOST is going to be left to its viewers to decide. There have been myriad themes presented, dissected, and pontificated upon since the show’s inception and weaving all of those together to tell a story is hard enough, divining a meaning from it may be too much to ask. DO NOT take this as my way of saying I don’t care what the meaning is. I do. But I have come to believe that maybe the meaning is something that will be defined by each LOSTie for themselves. I know one thing is for sure, it has been one hell of a mysterious ride. So thanks Team LOST for giving your faithful fans something to chomp at the bit for and for making something epic and grand (albeit with shoddy computer graphics from time to time) and for being unafraid to go absolutely off the wagon with science fiction and taking all of those uninitiated sci-fi phobics with you. And thanks for being original within the shell of your story, so many comparisons have been made to LOST but none of them stick. I think that’s because we have a true original vision (DO NOT PROVE ME WRONG ON SUNDAY!) and that is something that is increasingly rare in our world. No matter how things end, whatever happens, happens. Namaste.

Sherman: Have we done spin-offs?  Because I would love to see one of Brother Mouzone and Lamar (from The Wire) driving from town to town, solving mysteries and settling old scores.

Brad: I don’t know. That first one is pretty good. I don’t know if I can do any better. Can they have a Scobby Doo-esque theme song?

Sherman: Yes.  And wacky sound effects, with a laugh track.  I’m thinking Disney Channel.

Seth: OK yes, I want this.

Chase: The current most obvious and rumored to be coming is a prequel to Spartacus….  The Rise of Crixus: Champion of Capua.

Seth: For me the most obvious recent one is from LOST: Jacob and MIB: The Early Years.

Sherman: Please let it be animated with them as toddlers, like Muppet Babies.

This IS actually a lot like something from LOST

Seth: Question for Lostie Babies: Do they retain 5 o’ clock shadows?

Sherman: Of course, and every time they open a door the smoke monster gets them via a clip from an episode of LOST.

Seth:I also think Gilmore Girls could have easily semi-spun off a show about the Inn that Lorelai and Sookie ran. It would have been likeNewhart just much wittier. And yeah, I said Gilmore Girls.

Brad: I think Gilmore Girls tried to spin off a show about Jess once and FAILED. I need equal parts Lorelai and Rory to make that show watchable. Though, with that being said, a spinoff show where Rory and I spend our life together traveling Europe and spending Old Yale money would be pretty on point.

Sherman: Sorry, Chase, I missed your Spartacus: Blood and Sand spin-off earlier.  I think Rise of Crixus would be good, but perhaps better… Lucy Lawless: Boobs.

Jim: So far as I understand it, isn’t that pretty much what Spartacus: Blood and Sand is in the first place?

Seth: Chase mentioned Jesse and the Rippers show from Full House fame. And that would be great and all, but even better would be to seethe Zack Attack story from Saved By The Bell played out over a season of glorious television. It would be like Behind The Music. that would kill.

Jim:As great as The Wrestler was, I think it would be 10x edgier if there were a spin off that told the story from the perspective of The Ayatollah.  I’m imagining a mix between WWE Smackdown and an Iranian themed Bend it Like Beckham.  Who’s with me?

KILLER!

Seriously, Allen Iverson probably had the best crossover of all time, but let’s not forget who popularized the move ,Tim Hardaway. There’s some basketball facts for you guys! How does this relate to well, anything? Read on!

O-M-G! The cartoon came to life.

The Baddest Man/ANYTHING on TV

Itching for a fight

Chase:  I have a vision and it beautiful….
Crossover:  Chuck / Big Bang Theory

Episode:  Chuck Versus Bazinga!

Plot:

-          Leonard receives and undisclosed fellowship/grant from a Ring Operative to fund his research in developing a new Laser to solve some physics conundrum that is beyond any normal persons understanding.  Sheldon is obviously jealous that Leonard has attracted an accolade for his clearly pedestrian work and immediately forces himself on the project.
-          In Burbank- – Chuck and team are alerted that the ring is trying to secure a new gamma ray device from the crew at Cal tech and has to go flush out the operatives using the scientists as bait.-          Chuck bonds with Leonard… many BSG/Trek/Tron references ensue.
-          Sheldon is not happy and stuck in some way paired up with Casey, a monkey could write how that ends, I sense quite a few tranq darts here
-          Penny goes to the buy-more to find Leonard gets hit on by Jeffster…saved by Morgan who tries to seduce her at his apt
-          Sarah gets stuck paired with Walowitz and Rajesh.  I am picturing the threesome sharing a Brisket with Walowitz’s mother, with Rajesh either totally silent or so drunk he won’t shut up.

Ending
-          Who cares this is going to be one fun ride…

Josh:
Family Matters / Full House

Danny Tanner’s morning TV show decides to shoot in Chicago for a week. While in Chicago, Danny finds out that he has a crazy stalker. Worried about his family, he asks for police protection. Cue Carl Winslow to save the day. The Tanners move in with theWinslows and all kinds of shenanigans ensue. Of course there will be a scene where Urkel ruins something exclaiming “Did I do that?” and little Stephanie replys with “How rude!” I would also expect a romantic story line between Uncle Joey and Aunt Rachel. (Let’s be honest, Joey and Rachel need to get some.) Unfortunately things don’t work out between Joey and Rachel because San Fran and Chicago are just too far apart…. but its mostly because ABC doesn’t think America is ready for an interracial couple on family TV. Thebest part of this crossover is that YOU WILL LEARN SO MANY LIFE LESSONS!

Saved by the Bell / California Dreams

California Dreams was another NBC teen show that was basically Saved by the Bell but with a slightly more diverse cast. Thecrossover episode would revolve around a Battle of the Bands competition where Zach Attack faces off against California Dreams. Ofcourse a sleazy record agent would create some kind of drama between the two bands. They would play pranks on each other, fight, and then feel really bad about what a shot at fame has done to them. Cue the final scene as both bands play “Friends Forever” and winthe Battle of the Bands. Reminds me of my high school experience.

Dinosaucers / Dino-Riders

Just imagine super intelligent dinosaurs riding dinosaurs with lasers attached to them, or better yet, men riding super intelligent dinosaurs that have lasers. I don’t really care about the details, only that two of the worst dino cartoons are combined into one abomination. If we could find a way to get Denver: The Last Dinosaur into this crossover, my head would explode.

I would also like to mention that any show crossing over with Street Sharks would be awesome.

Josh's First Band Name and Album Title

Then Steve wrote some incoherent babble crap and everyone was disappointed in him, especially EVERYONE.  No but really, we only scratched the surface here folks, some of these things are awesome and I really want to see what Hollyweird can come up with. Instead of retreading old things, let’s put our old things in a blender and see what comes out. Any other bright crossover ideas?

Anyways, pop culture is not immune to this brandification, in fact many movies create or pimp brands just as bad in the fake world as they do in the real one.  Quentin Tarantino’s “Red Apple” cigarettes are a great example as they are the brand used almost exclusively in his films. There are tons of others and many which are really well-known. I guess it’s just another example of art imitating life. Or art trying to be life. I digress.

CLASSIC! Image credit: Alex Ross.

Josh: With the number of loyal LOST fans on this thread, I can’t believe that Dharma hasn’t come up. Those jokers branded everything…… ranch dressing, cola, beer, cereal….. I’m willing to bet that Smokey has a Dharma bumper sticker stuck to its butt. I’m sure that this final season will bring us some great new Dharma products and tag lines:

Seth: For the win! Am I right? The Cusack answer alone is enough, but all the other options. Too fantastic. Josh’s phone number actually spells out P-L-E-A-S-U-R-E. But that’s 8 letters you say?! He used “The Aladdin” to get the 8th number added.