Written by Well, we’re almost to the end of LOST. Sad times. Really sad times for many fans of this blog. But fret more fair Losties because your beloved mindbender might become an unholy, ambling Zombie shell of its former self. It’s true, the show of LOST is going away, but since it’s been such a phenomenon, there is the looming danger that our belovWhile it’s true ed show could become a franchise. Now the whiz kids who have been steering the ship for the last 6 seasons, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, have said that they want nothing to do with LOST continuting in any way after their story has been told. But that doesn’t meant the GENIUSES in the ivory Hollywood towers won’t make the awesome, awful mistake of creating some twisted, confused, and hackneyed LOST baby. I’d imagine it would look like this:
LOST Jr.
Yeah. Gross. Right? But it’s a distinct possibility. Here’s why ABC should avoid doing this at pretty much all costs:
- Just let a masterpiece (classification pending) stand on its own. Do not try to suck every last bit of LOST’s beautiful lifeforce and leave it a dried-out shell of its former self. Don’t take something which has at times been the best thing on television and create some bastardized, substandard version.
- The story’s been told! By those who created it. Look, I’ve come to grips that I’m NEVER going to get answers to a HOST of questions. It’s just impossible at this point. And really that’s how LOST should probably end. A show like this, which is unlike any other, can’t fit conventions and should probably leave us with a WTF!? moment like so many of those that have made this show as rad as it is. Questions? Gotta have ‘em.
- You can’t make this awesome. Sure, you can try. But the thing about a once-in-a-lifetime series is JUST that. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime series. Look at those that have come to try to carry LOST‘s torch: FlashForward thy name is EPIC FAIL. Melding the emotional, character-driven nature of the show with the mind-melting time and universe-bending of the science-fiction side of the show.
- TRY SOMETHING NEW FOR ONCE. We are in the midst of one of the greatest eras of television. We’ve recently seen some of the greatest shows of all-time finish their runs. All of these shows have been creative and brilliant, but I fear that we are running out of options in the “original programming category.” Look at TV’s big brother, film, which of late has been a pure re-imagination. Wonka would be disappointed to say the least. There are so few fantastically creative, original shows, why not try to make another one instead of a re-tread.
- Do something unexpected. It’s too easy to make this show. Do something no one sees coming: BE BOLD, BE BRAVE. TURN DOWN the money grab. I know it’s hard dollar signs are SEXAY. But also SEXAY is being not jerky and being smart and creative and thinking about things and about how your viewers feel. Because as far as being attached to a show goes, several of the most important people in my life will straight up go Hurley in the Bus with Sayid’s killer legs combo on your collective hind parts if you ruin the memory of this show.
Whoops that's your promo photo.
That is all the venom I can muster. I am too old for this s*** (Lethal Weapon). It’s not quite there, but it’s almost time to fire up those pitchforks and man those torches. Or vice versa.
We can only hope that our collective memories will not be shamed by the big wigs at ABC. It”s not a lot to hope for, but with these idiots, you can never be sure.
“Several of the most important people in my life will straight up go Hurley in the Bus with Sayid’s killer legs combo on your collective hind parts if you ruin the memory of this show.”
I will personally hunt you down, nameless ABC employees.