Apparently man has a best friend and it’s dogs. Personally I wasn’t consulted. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs, but there are a LOT ofawesome animals out there. Pop culture has shown us the versatility of tons of different animals. And I’d say there are some better options out there. I have my selection ready and waiting and I have to be honest, I think it’s gonna be tough to argue with. So take any pop culture animal, I don’t care if they are real or animated. WHO should be man’s best friend?
Ready? Go.
Sherman: Note that “Mawg” is out-of-bounds, because it asks “who is man’s best friend” not “who is his own best friend.” Barfolomew!
Nate: I instantly thought of Mawg. You ruined my whole train of thought here.
Me: Thanks for the note Sherman. There were going to be a billion Mawg responses.
Sherman: And I got to give the one, by cleverly crafting it as a warning! If I do Denver the Last Dinosaur do you think Seth or Chase would cry harder?
Chris: Clearly, the liger is man’s best friend, and here’s why: First, what other animal can speedily maul any of your nemeses? Second, being mythical no one can actually deny their supremacy, and third, while completely imaginary, if you had one of these bad boys it’d be awesome to ride it into town striking fear into everyone’s hearts. Also, as far as personality goes, if it was like Hobbes from Calvin & Hobbes, it would be your close companion and from its stripes attract the ladies (the ‘cuteness’ factor applies here, especially as cubs)–definitely, a great conversation piece. Although Napoleon popularized it, the Liger with Hobbesian personality is man’s best friend.
Kevin: Brief point to Squites additon-Ligers are not mythical and entirely real. Atiger male/female lion is a Liger and it’s badass-it’s waaay bigger than a real tiger or lion, has a mane and spots. A tigon is a less badass version of a lion male, tiger female. Looks more just like a small tiger. Anywho, not arguing they are man’s best friend, just nerding out for a second.
Me: I’m actually waiting for Chase to answer with one of the Gummi Bears, so I can then unleash my currently brewing hypothesis on howthe Gummi Bears directly link to the start and spread of steroids in major league baseball.
Chase: Now I can’t use Gummi Bears. But they are courageous and caring!!!
Sherman: They’re also not pets, they’re a sovereign people, you imperialist swine!
Chase: DO NOT QUESTION MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE GUMMI BEARS!
Sherman: YOU ONLY WANT TO EXPLOIT THEM FOR THEIR POTENT ELIXIR AND ADEPT HANDLING OF TOBACCO CROPS!!!
Chase: The gummiberry juice is only a small part of why I love the Gummi Bears. I am quite confident the Crimson Avenger could kick your ass and give us reformed healthcare without relying on artificial bouncing power.
I submit the ultimate Man’s Best Friend, Brain from Inspector Gadget. Brain embodies all the necessary qualities required of an animal best friend, loyalty, smarts, fur, fluent in English, able to use cool weapons, and capable of espionage. No matter what mess Gadget gets himself in Brain is there to help set him straight. Given my uncanny ability to injure myself and make even the most simple tasks unbelievably difficult I really don’t see a better option out there.
Karla: Wow. Chase has disagreed with almost all of my answers this point, and now he’s stolen the words right out of my mouth. I second that nomination.
Seth: Chase again steals my answer. Luckily, I have a strong second option.
Patrick: Well, at the risk of stealing unicorns from Seth, I’m going to steal unicorns from Seth. Behold:
1. They are pure and can heal you if you get injured with a flick of the horn.
2. They can find virgins. Not a priority for me, but certainly for some folks.
3. They are magical and simply being near them makes you happy.
4. They teach valuable life lessons about acceptance and honesty, as well as having their own planet.
Sherman: I say that a dog truly is man’s best friend. But not just any dog. I’m talking about Gromit, from the half-eponymous Wallace & Gromit series. He’s not just a loyal hound, he’s also a practical housekeeper, level-headed companion in a time of crisis, and an inventor in his own right. Whenever Wallace comes up with a hairbrained scheme, it’s most likely Gromit that ends up doing the bulk of the work, even on his birthday.
The best part is that he never says a word, but one look at his face will tell you paragraphs. Everyone deserves to have such a sensible companion who is always behind you, even if he prepares himself for the worst.
Steve: So I know it is similar, but also far better. My nomination goes to that beloved dog from the megaman cartoon and videogame, Rush. He equalled Brain in every way except that he WAS a weapon and he could change into an array of vehicles. Need a sub? Rush is on it. Atrampoline? Rush. How about a rocket? Rush AGAIN. Rush is pretty much Brain 4.0.
Sherman: I don’t know, Steve, there are some problems with Rush that Gromit doesn’t have.
JT: I’ve been waiting for the perfect insertion point (that’s what see said) in these conversations for a while now and obviously this question is it.I have only one name for you, Clyde. Reach way back in your young memories and remember the wonder of a movie that is Clint Eastwoood in Every Which Way But Loose and the sequel of the bar brawling duo, Any Which Way You Can. I’ll never forgive theacademy for passing these over.
If you remain confused as to what the hell a couple of Clint Eastwood movies from the late 1970s have to do with this question, sit back and enjoy the mind cocaine that is f’ing Clint Eastwood and and orangutan (see pictures below). Although some pretentious critics have called the movie “utterly worthless drivel” my response is, “say that to Clyde’s face and see if he doesnt rip that smug smile off of it and eat two bananas while he’s doing it”. Footnote: these became two of Eastwood’s highest grossing movies for a reason.
Here is an overview of the first movie: ”It starred Clint Eastwood in an uncharacteristic and offbeat comedy role, as Philo Beddoe, atrucker and brawler roaming the American West in search of a lost love while accompanied by his friend/manager Orville and his pet orangutan, Clyde. In the process Philo manages to cross a motley assortment of characters, including a pair of police officers and an entire motorcycle gang (the “Black Widows”), who end up pursuing him for revenge.” The action really kicks off when the motorcycle gang called “The Black Widows” incur Philo’s wrath after two gang members insult him and Clyde at a traffic light one day. What more could you possibly want out of life than to roam the West with an Orangutan, Orville and Beverly D’Angelo (in the 70s) and fight biker gangs? I submit to you the correct answer to the question.
Patrick N: While I do love Gummy Bears, I think Lassie is mans best friend, He is a collie who’s the best friend to a young black and white boy named Timmy or maybe Timmy was in the well not sure. Collies are recognized to be among smartest breeds of dog. Lassie was real which for some reason I feel earns her some points, loyal, recognizable to folks like myself who have seen very little of lassie and still know of her reputation. Lassie has saved the lives of countless children in wells and mines i think epitomizes best friend.
Lassie is my submission but in close second and third are Buck from “Married with children”, for his poor eating habits, wit, and companionship and Air Bud, but mostly for the witty tag lines associated with his movies eg: Air bud: Golden Receiver “Just dog it” and Air Bud 2 Golden Receiver “He sits, He stays, He shoots, He scores.”
Kevin T: When this question was posed I immediately thought of Eastwood and orangutangs. Every which way but loose has the greatest scene in cinematic history: A guy sitting on the edge of lake catches a trout, clint eastwood grabs said fish, says “thats a nice catch” and then proceeds to beat this fella senseless with fish strikes to the face. superb.
My answer is going to continue being pisciphillic (I am writing this from a fish conference in Korea). I would submit “Gill” the goldfish as man’s best freind. This is the pet of Bob, the titular character from What about Bob, maybe the funniest movie ever made (I’m calling you out Old School). Why is he mans best freind, well he was Bill Murray’s only freind in the start. He chased away everyone else with his batshit crazy mental issues. Also, when Bob comes to visit Dr. Leo Mavin and co. in New Hampshire, he is quickly whisked away by his upset therapist, however in the emergency that Gill needs new water in his jar (great move by the way on Gills part, I’m dying ploy can get you in anywhere), Bob enters the Marvin household therby sealing Leo’s fate. Once into the house Bob is free to charm away the family, steal Leo’s good morning america interview and eventually lead this once great therapist and author of “Baby steps” into a world of madness, eventually getting down with his sister in a biblical sense. Brilliant genious of Bob? No, the goldfish was leading this plan the whole time.
What are we thinking here ramblers? Does Man have a new best friend?
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