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It’s inevitable, where there is good, there must be evil. And on occasion, there is one being who so readily embodies this evil that he/she boils up all of the bad feelings one has. Someone who just makes our skin crawl like an inchworm inching its way away from something yucky.. Even thinking about him/her makes us want to launch an assault with all the fervor of a Rhino in mating season. This is someone so revolting to your inner core that you can’t even breathe their name without wanting to regurgitate, just a little bit. In fact you have probably gone to lengths to plot said person’s demise or to hope an “accident” that may befall them. So I turn once again to the Committee on Matters of the Utmost Importance and ask, who is your pop culture archnemesis (new word, coming soon to a dictionary near you)?No points for any answer inciting Megatron (too easy) or Shredder (again, come on).
(Note: There is some mildly strong language in this post, I would usually edit it out, but it’s just too funny in this case.)
This week’s panel: Me, Sherman, Matt, Steve, Patrick, Karla (a GIRL!), Anders, Josh, Jeff, Kevin
Me: Dean Wormer from Animal House- an atypical choice to say the least. But a personal one for yours truly. Granted I was never a Greek myself, but the Dean of Evil insists upon taking a stand against fun, something I simply cannot abide. Canceling parties and killing what is clearly the lifeblood of the underground party scene at Faber College are his greatest sins. This hatred for Dean Wormer has gone on to grow in a way totally unforeseen by yours truly, as I now share a role similar to Wormer myself and can see the pall he casts on those of my ilk. So to this I say, nuts to you Dean Wormer, nuts indeed.
Sherman: Does this mean that Galvitron is out, too? ‘Cause, I mean, it’s a bad-ass arm canon guy WITH Leonard Nimoy’s voice.
Frank, from Once Upon A Time in the West.
Matt: I don’t feel comfortable definitively saying this one is the top of my list yet, but it’s the first one I thought of. Uncle Frank from Home Alone. Since I was a particularly sensitive kid (one would almost go so far as to say I was a giant wuss) I honestly could not even wrap my mind around the breadth of douchery that this man encompassed. I tried my hardest to imagine how I would feel if a family member ever talked to me like he talked to Kevin, but I just couldn’t. “Look whatcha did, you little jerk!” Jeebus! I think I would have peed my pants, cried, and started the running away process all at one time. Plus that d***nose was probably the one who ate all the pepperoni pizza.
Me: “D***nose,” classic.
Steve: My archnemesis comes from my favorite movie of all time The Shawshank Redemption. Warden Norton is the most obtuse punk of all time. The man bribed, cheated, and stole…so what? He had a man killed in order to keep an innocent man in prison. He repeatedly rejected a reformed man’s attempt at freedom, a man who has become one of the most beloved characters in cinemetography…”Red” (MORGAN FREAKIN’ FREEMAN). He just generally doesn’t give a crap about anyone, and worse off will do whatever it takes to hurt anyone to get what he wants. Plus he is a huge coward. I was so happy this man shot himself at the end of that film. There is nothing likeable about him, NOTHING.
Me: I always thought the warden had kind eyes.
Patrick: Oh, definitely Randall Flag from The Stand. Not only was he basically the Antichrist, but he was also so smarmy and smooth. He tricked and manipulated people into setting up the post-apocalypse like it was Mad Max when it could have been a great way to start over with something more equitable and peaceful. Plus, he has the power to turn chicks’ hair gray and that is a huge d*** move.
Karla: So when it comes to the Nemesis – Arch Enemy question, (Seth has handily combined the two terms) Chuck Klosterman’s excellent description of the difference between the two from his book IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas is where I’ll start from (also, it’s an interesting read if you’re looking for one). This guy’s blog has the excerpt to which I am referring.
- Cruella Devil: Wants to kill puppies and wear them. Enough said.
- William Atherton: Who is William Atherton you ask. Well he is the actor that plays Walter Peck in Ghostbusters, Professor Jerry Hathaway in Real Genius, and Richard Thornburg in Die Hard and Die Hard 2. Whether it’s the self important employee of the EPA that releases an onslaught of ghosts on New York, the egomaniacal professor who steals his student’s work to make a military weapon, orthe despicable reporter harassing kids, this guy’s job is to play people I hate. Nothing makes me feel better than watching Mrs. John McClane punch him in the face.
- Percy from The Green Mile: This guy is an atrocity. His actions run the gamut of villainy. First he kills an inmate’s pet mouse (pretty messed up), but then he intentionally inflicts an incredible amount of pain on an inmate by not wetting the sponge during an execution.The guy basically screams in agony before catching on fire and dying a slow, painful, death. There is a special circle of hell for this guy.
Ich KAHniT STAHD THUUlsA DOooOOOOO;sadfhna;og;aiuer;
My apologies for Sir Conan, the mere thought of Thulsa Doom and his thirty years on the Wheel of Pain drive him to utter incoherence.
As for myself, life is a game, the most dangerous one in fact. However, Earth has proven to provide me with no such ‘nemesis’, merely fledgling annoyances in the path to amassing the most beautiful collection of interplanetary taxidermy in all the universe.