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this picture is totally for serious
First a quick little introduction, “a matter of utmost importance” will become a cleverly subtitled, regularly occurring feature in which I offer a question to some of the most sharply-honed pop culture minds of my generation and then arrange their answers in a hilarious way, meaning copying and pasting it directly into this post from an email. Without further delay, let’s address a matter of the utmost importance.
It came to my attention recently that given the pop culture-predicted zombie apocalypse that is inevitably looming I am woefully underprepared. One of the keys to survival will be differentiating between the living and the undead. I know you’re saying “EASY!” But what about those who have been infected but haven’t turned yet? Huh? What about THEM? See, we’re always thinking here at Pop Ramblings. Since we are so forward-thinking, we’ve come up with an easy way to decipher who is living, who is dead, and who is somewhere in between. Ladies and gents, I give you ZombiePocalypse passwords.
Chase: If there was a zombie attack at our alma mater, where would you set up your safe house? I am having some trouble identifying a building with good vision, superior ground, limited entry/exit points.
Seth: Avoiding the ZombiePocalypse Passwords is a classic Zombie Maneuver. I’d be wary of Chase and Chris.
Sherman: I recommend “Braaaaaaaaaaains” for a password
Chase: My proposed ZombiePocalypse Passwords would be… How many Giga Watts does it take to power a flux capacitor? Reasons why this is a great PW…
- Everyone knows zombies detest Robert Zemeckis Films
- A working knowledge of time travel mechanics is beyond the grasp of the undead
- If by some miracle a Zombie was able to identify this figure, I think he would cool to party with
- If a human somehow didn’t know this answer they cannot be trusted
image via
I think what we’re really getting at here is that you need to hunker down and let the Predator do his work. I mentioned this to him and he is totes excited to add zombies to his wall.
This is all assuming, of course, that we’d survive the first wave of virus that turns people into zombies in the first place. Before we can even implement a password-protected society of living non-flesh eaters, we must first assume we have the tools to make it past the initial infection. And with that in mind, I’d like to implement a “Kill a Cough” campaign. Also, “Snuff out a Sneeze” or “Hack a Headache” would suffice. Catchy billboards, eh?
I want to see some art for these billboards, which I think would be jarring/poetic. I smell a new gilp project.
Not helping. I know for a fact you both would kill me if I knocked at your door.
Your roomie better pop his Dr. Jone’s cherry if he wants to be credible during the onslaught.